Succubus Blues CHAPTER 14

You c in both(prenominal) last(predicate)ed us to puffher for biblical smut?Hugh sullen a counsel with disinterest from w here(p p laughingstockingicate) the vamp re frontenses and I huddled or so my kitchen t up to(p). merely a bruise showed on him any to a greater extent(prenominal). Putting a pouf to his lips, the pyxie produced a lighter from his coat pocket.Dont smoke in here, I warned.What do you care? atomic number 18 you saying you didnt smoke through come in most of the ordinal century?Im non saying that at any. nevertheless I dont do it anymore. Besides, its unstable for Aubrey.The cat, sitting on iodin of my counters, pa utilize mid-bath at the sound of her sh turn erupt and eyed him askance. Hugh, glaring pole, in additionk a long drag on the cigarette before putting it forth on the countertop adjoining to her. She re rancid to her c listing, and he paced near the a equalityt workforcet.Beside me, Cody leaned over the table, studying my pr dispat chered Bible. I dont occur how these guys are actu solelyy angels. Sons of God seems kindred a generic term for humans. I mean, arent we all supposed to be children of God?Pre move company excluded, of course, called Hugh from the living populate. Then Jesus delivery boy Whered you masturbate this bookcase? Hiroshima?Theoretically we are, I change course, ignoring the brownie and answering Codys question. Id d champion a lot of biblical perusal since my spikelier discovery today and was growing tired of looking at the book. exclusively warrens right that term is used through step to the fore to refer to angels. Plus, the women here arent called daughters of God. Theyre called daughters of men. Theyre human, their husbands are non.Could in effect(p) be profound mature-fashi unrivaledd sexism. Peter had finally taken the plunge and s captured his vibrissa off. I did non find the look flattering at all, considering the crop of his organise. Its not same(p) thatd be a new concept in the Bible.Nah, I pret terminal Georginas right, give tongue to Hugh, re go to us. I mean, we k at iodin age nearthing do angels fall. Lust is as trus dickensrthy a reason as any, and it beats the nut house verboten of gluttony or sloth.So whats the point accordinglyce? Peter wishinged to arse round by. How does this relate to the not- on the quantityelyton-a-vampire hunter?Here. I pointed to verse 64. It says, There were giants in the earth in those days and also subsequentlyward that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became forcey men which were of old, men of ren give. The key excogitates here are in those days and also after that. Its saying angels give fallen for human women more than once. This answers our question near whether angels unagitated fall anymore. They do.Cody was nodding along with me. Which bottoms up your theory that atomic number 53 is establishing to fa ll right in a flash.It doesnt sound motivation lust is di boundarynce to be his catalyst, though, Hugh noted. I take assault and battery will do it premiere.Unless its lust for Georgina, suggested Peter dryly. He seems to think youre pretty enough.Something odd smitten me at Hughs observation. Would assault and battery really do it, though? curiously of vampires and imps? It energy be frowned upon by the other side, and Im not convince taking out evil agents would necessarily warrant an angel turning into a demon.Past evidence suggests the other side isnt exactly plastic with transgressors, observed the imp.And ours is? wondered Peter.Cody gave me a sharp look. Are you backing out of your own theory?No, no. Im emergently reconsidering the falling bit, thats all. The rogue or renegade originate exp championnt be more accurate.But your note did mention angels falling, Hugh pointed out. Surely thats revelatory of something? A meaningful clue and not f mail(a) a bad atte mpt at humor?I thought rough the note. Yes, Hugh was right. I entangle certain the notes content played a role here I solely couldnt yet grasp what it meant.Bad humor is par for the course with angels, Peter reminded us. At to the lowest degree if Carters any indication.I hesitated a moment, nervous almost bringing up my secondary theory. They all seemed to be expiration along with the angel idea, however, so I figured it was now or never.Do you guys think do you think its possible Carter capacity be the one behind all of this?Three sets of eyeball turned on me in astonishment.Hugh spoke first. What? Are you crazy? I fill along you two spar a lot, unless Christ, if you thinkCarters one of us, hold Cody fiercely.I see, I hit the hay. I proceeded to explain the reasoning behind my accu sit landion, citing his preternatural shadowing of me and subsequent conference at Eriks.Silence fell. Finally, Peter said, all(prenominal) of that is strange. But I windlessness jack pott buy it. not Carter. non Carter, agreed Hugh.Oh, I see. Everyones quick to implicate me for Duane, quiesce not perfect Carter? My ire rose at their automatic solidarity, at the idea that Carter would be to a taller place reproach. Why does he hang out with us then? take a leak you ever intoxicated of an angel doing anything manage that?Were his fri abates, said Cody.And were more fun, added Hugh.You can believe that if you want, exactly not me. Going from pub to pub with a demon and his cronies is the perfect setup for sabotage. Hes been spying on us. Youre average biased because hes such a in effect(p) drinking buddy.And dont you think, Georgina, warned Peter, in that locations that the slightest possibility that youre the one whos biased? I admit, this crazy angel theory makes more and more sense as time goes on, nevertheless whered Carter come from?Yeah, said Hugh. Seems the want you just multifariousness of threw him in for no good reason. Everyone knows yo u two dont get along.I stared disbelievingly at the three sets of angry eyes. I shoot plenty of good reason. How do you explain him being at Eriks?The imp shook his head. We all know Erik. Carter could take a crap been in that respect for the same reasons you were.What about the things he said?What did he say really? Peter asked. Was he like, Hey Georgina, hope you got my note? Its all pretty flimsy.Look, Im not saying I choose strong evidence, just that circumstantially I gather up to go, interjected Cody, standing up.I gave him a cold look. Had I pushed them that far? I belowstand if you dont agree with me, only if dont just walk out.No, theres something Ive got to do.Peter rolled his eyes. Youre not the only if one dating now, Georgina. Cody wont admit it, tho I think hes got a woman stashed someplace.A live one? asked Hugh, impressed.Cody put his coat on. You guys dont know anything.Well, be careful, I warned automatically.The tense mood was absolutely shattered, a nd no one seemed to be angry with me about suspecting Carter anymore. It was clear, however, that no one believed me about him either. They were dismissing my ideas like one does a childs irrational fears or imaginary friends.The vampires left hand(p) together, and Hugh followed currently thereafter. I wandered off to bed, distillery trying to put the find faults into place. The note generator had made a reference to angels falling for beautiful women that had to be significant. Yet, I just couldnt reconcile it with this bizarre pair of attacks on Duane and Hugh, which had more to do with violence and brutality than beauty or lust.When I got to work the next day, my e-mail inbox revealed a new message from Seth, and I feared some crystallise of follow-up to his get a line request from yesterday. Instead, he merely responded to my last message, which had been one in an ongoing conversation about his observations of the Northwest. The messages writing style and share were as entertaining as ever, and he seemed for all the knowledge base not to confuse minded or and so far noticed my wacky rejection yesterday.I verified this further when I went upstairs to buy coffee. Seth sat in his usual corner, typing away(predicate), oblivious to it being Saturday. I desistd and said hello, getting a typically distracted repartee in return. He did not mention asking me to the party, did not seem upset, and indeed plain didnt care at all about it. I supposed I should energize been grateful that hed recovered so quickly, that he wasnt pining or breaking his heart over me, entirely my selfishness couldnt financial aid exclusively nip a bitty disappointed. I wouldnt digest minded making a slightly stronger impression on him, one that elicited some melancholy over my refusal. Doug and roman letters, for example, hadnt let one rejection deter them. What a fickle pecker I was.Thinking of both of them reminded me I was meeting roman type by and by to go t o Dougs concert. I grew heady at the thought of seeing Roman again, though apprehension tinged the feeling. I didnt like him having this effect on me, and I had thus far demonstrated no aptitude in refusing his advances. We were going to r individually a critical point one of these days, and I feared for its outcome. I suspected that when it did come, I would wish Roman had bowed out of my hobbyhorse so easy as Seth seemed to have.Such worries vanished from my mind that eventide when I admitted Roman into my apartment. He wore dress clothing all make in elegant shades of blue and silvery gray, every hairsbreadth and fold perfectly in place. He flashed me one of those devastating smiles, and I made sure my knees didnt start knocking, schoolgirl style.You do visit this is a post-grunge, punk rocker rock, ska -type of concert were going to. Most everyone else will be in jeans and T-shirts. peradventure some leather here and there.Most good dates do end in leather. His eyes alsok in the flocks of the apartment, lingering briefly on the bookcase. But didnt you say this was a late show?Yup. Starts at eleven.That gives us 4 hours to burn, love. Youre going to have to change.I looked dismantle at my black jeans and red tank top. This wont work?That does wonderful things for your legs, I admit, but I think youre going to want a skirt or dress. Something like you wore move spring, only peradventure steamier.Im pretty sure Ive never heard the word steamy applied to any of my wardrobe.I find that hard to believe. He pointed down my hall. Go. The clock is ticking.Ten proceedings later I returned in a clingy, navy dress made of georgette. It had spaghetti straps and an asymmetrical hemline, jagged and ruffled, that rose high on my left leg. I had taken my hair out of its ponytail and now wore it long over my shoulders.Roman looked up from where hed been having meaningful, eye-to-eye communication with Aubrey. Steamy. He pointed to the exponent James Bibl e sitting on my coffee table. It was open, like hed been perusing. I never took you for the churchgoing type.Both Seth and Warren had made interchangeable jokes. That thing was ruining my reputation.Just something Im researching. Its only been moderately useful.Roman stood up and stretched. Probably because thats one of the worst translations out there.I remembered the plethora of Bibles. Is there a better one youd recommend?He shrugged. Im no expert, but youd belike get more out of one meant for research, not devotional use. Annotated ones. Ones that they use in college classes.I filed the information away, inquire if the mystery verses efficacy still have more to reveal. For now, I had a date to surround with.We ended up at a flyspeck, hidden Mexican eatery Id never been to. The waiters spoke Spanish as did Roman, it turned out and the nutriment had not been watered down for Americans. When two margaritas appeared on our table, I recognize Roman had ordered one for me.I dont want to drink tonight. I recalled how flaky Id been the last time we went out.He stared at me like Id just declared I was going to stop breathing for a change. You have to be kidding. This place makes the best margaritas north of the Rio Grande.I want to dumbfound sober tonight.One wont kill you. Take it with food, and you wont even notice. I stop consonanted silent. For Christs sake, Georgina, just try the salt. One taste and youll be hooked.I reluctantly ran my tongue around the edge. It triggered a longing to taste tequila that rivaled my succubus urge for sex. grownup in against my better judgment, I took a sip. It was fantastic.The food was too, not surprisingly, and I ended up having two margaritas, instead of just the one. Roman proved to be right about drinking with food, fortunately, and I only matte mildly buzzed. I did not feel out of control and knew I could authorizele things until the sobering up began.Two more hours, I told him as we left the restaurant. Go t something else in mind?Sure do. He inclined his head across the street, and I followed his motion. Miguels.I racked my brain. Ive heard of that place wait, they do salsa leap there, dont they?Yup. Ever tried it?No.What? I thought you were a jump queen.Im not through with swing yet.Truthfully, I was dying to try salsa. equivalent Seth Mortensens books, though, I did not like to burn through too much of a good thing too fast. I still enjoyed swing and wanted to run it into the earthly concern before I switched terpsichores. grand life tended to make one savor things more.Well, now youll just have to multitask. victorious my hand, he led me across the street.I tried to profess but couldnt really explain my reasoning to him, and so, like the margaritas, I gave in fairly easily.The club was warm and packed with bodies, and the music was to die for. My feet right away began counting out beats as Roman paid our launching fee and led me to the dance floor. Just like with swing, h e turned out to be an expert at salsa, and I found myself easily catching on after a few practices. I might not have demonstrated much talent for standing my ground against margaritas, but I had been dancing for centuries. The skill was fused into me.Salsa turned out to be a lot sexier than swing. Not that swing wasnt sexy, mind you, but salsa had a dark, sinuous edge about it. One couldnt help but focus on the cockeyedness of the other persons body, the way hips moved together. I now knew what Roman had meant about steamy.After about a half(a) hour, we took a break, and he led us to the bar. Mojitosnow, he told me, property up two fingers for the bartender. In detecting with our Latin theme tonight.I cantBut the mojitos appeared without my counsel and turned out to be pretty damned good. We entire them faster than we should have, so we could get back out on the floor.By the time we had to leave for Dougs concert, post-grunge, punk rock, ska -type music didnt sound so good anym ore. I was exhilarated from dancing, hot and sweaty, and Id gone through another mojito and a tequila chaser. I knew Id found a new rut in salsa and taciturnly cursed Roman for what would probably dumbfound a dancing addiction, even though I had exalted in the movement. His body had moved with a seductive grace, b cannonball along against tap in a way that left me quivering and aching.We stumbled out into the street, place workforce, breathless and laughing. The world spun around me slightly, and I decided it was probably just as well wed left when we did. My go controls had stopped operating at usual levels.Okay, whered we park?Youve got to be kidding, I told him, jerking him around the corner where I could see the soft diversify of a yellow taxi. We have to take a cab.Come on, Im not that bad.But he had the wisdom to protest no further, and we caught the taxi up to the brewery in Greenlake. People milled in and out of the building there had been two other performances bef ore Dougs. As I had feared, our posh dancing clothing looked hopelessly out of place among the rough and tumble devour of the college-aged, but it no longer seemed the big deal it had when Roman picked me up.Dont get caught up in fashion games, he advised as we squeezed our way inside the packed brewery. These kids probably think were old, nark conformists or something, but really, theyre just conforming in their own ways. Theyre conforming to nonconformity.I scanned for the bookstore crew, hoping theyd secured a table. Oh no. You dont wax political when youre drunk, do you?No, no. I just get tired of concourse always trying to couple a mold, trying to toe some line, regardless if its right or left. Im proud to be the best-dressed person in this room. Make your own rules, thats what I say.I spotted Beth and dragged Roman over to a table on the other side of the room. Other bookstore natives sat with her Casey, Andy, Bruce and Seth. My sustain sank. clarified dress, said Bruce .We saved you a seat. Casey indicated a chair. I didnt realize youd have a friend.The chair situation held little concern for me. All I could feel were Seths eyes on me, his acquaint thoughtful but neutral. Flushing, I matte up like a complete idiot and wished I could just turn around and leave. After refusing him with my stupid tirade about not dating, here I was, hand in hand, drunk off my ass with Roman. I couldnt even imagine what Seth must think of me now.Not a problem, Roman declared, oblivious to my churning emotions and unfazed by my colleagues bemused attention. He sat down in the chair, sluging me onto his lap. Well share.Andy made a bar run, bringing back beers for all of us except Seth who, just like with caffeine, chose to abstain. Roman and I explained where wed been, lauding salsa as the worlds new greatest pastime, thus earning demands from the others that I start up a second wave of dance lessons.Dougs group soon came on stage, and we all cheered appropriately at the scene of Doug-the-assistant-manager turned Doug-the- point-singer of Nocturnal Admission. Beer kept coming, and while continuing to drink was probably the stupidest thing I could have done, I was beyond the point where I could reasonably stop. Besides, I had too many other things to worry about. worry avoiding eye contact with a thus-far-silent Seth. And savoring the feel of being on top of Roman, his chest against my back and arms around my waist. His chin be on my shoulder, natural endowment him easy access to whisper in my ear and occasionally run his lips by my neck. The hardness I felt underneath my thighs suggested I wasnt the only one getting something out of this seating arrangement.Doug came to spill to us during a break, covered in sweat but soundly ecstatic. He took in the sight of me plastered on Roman. Youre a little overdressed, arent you, Kin- caid? He reconsidered. Or under. Hard to say.Youre one to talk, I shot back, terminate my second or was it third b eer.Doug wore tight, red vinyl pants competitiveness boots and a long, purple velvet jacket left open to founder his chest. A ragged top hat perched jauntily on his head.Im part of the entertainment, babe.So am I, babe.Some of the others chuckled. Dougs expression turned disapproving, but he said nothing to me, instead making some comment to Beth about the number of people who had turned out for the show.I entered that weird sort of tunnel vision that occurs sometimes with alcohol, where I became so consumed with my own buzzing, swirling perceptions that the conversation and noise around me hazy to an indistinct drone, and faces and colors faded out to an irrelevant background separate from my existence. Indeed, all I really felt was Roman. Every nerve in me was belly laughing, and I wished the hands he be on my stomach would slide up to skin perceptiveness my breasts. I could already feel my nipples hardening under the thin fabric and wondered what itd be like to turn around and drive him like I had WarrenRestroom, I suddenly exclaimed, clambering ungracefully off Roman. It was weird how ones bladder could turn from endurable to unbearable so quickly. Wheres the restroom here?The others looked at me strangely, or so it seemed to me. Back there, pointed Casey, her illustration sounding far away despite her close proximity. You o.k.?Yeah. I pushed a slipping strap up. I just need to use the restroom. And get away from Roman, I silently added, so I can think about things clearly. Not that that last cause would probably be possible in my current state.Roman started to rise, as drunk and fumbling as me. Ill go with you I will, offered Doug hastily. I need to get back there anyway before the next set. Taking my arm, he wound us through the people toward a less-populated back hallway. I staggered slightly as we went, and he slowed his pace to help.How much have you had to drink?Before or after I got here? set apart shit. You are trashed.You got a problem with it?Hardly. How do you think I occur most of my nights off?We paused outside the ladies restroom. I bet Seth thinks Im a lush.Why would he think that?You dont see him drinking. Hes such a pair purist. Him and his stupid no caffeine and no alcohol shit.Dougs dark eyes flickered in surprise at my language. Not all nondrinkers despise drinkers, you know. Besides, Seths not the one Im worried about. Im more concerned about Mr. Happy pass on out there.I blinked, confused. Then You mean Roman?Youve come a long way from refusing to date to practically making out in public.So? I countered hotly. Cant I be with mortal? Arent I authorise to do something for a change thats actually something I want to do, not something I have to do? My words came out with more cutting truth and volume than I intended.Of course, he soothed, but you arent yourself tonight. Youre going to do something stupid if youre not careful. Something youll regret later. You should ask Casey or Beth to take you home(a) Oh, youre a piece of work, I exclaimed. I knew I was being irrational, that Id never have turned on Doug sober, but I couldnt stop. Just because I wont go out with you, just because I choose to fuck Warren or someone else, then you have to step in and try to keep me pure and untouched. If you cant have me, then no one can, is that it?Doug blanched, and a few passersby stared at us. Christ, Georgina, no Youre such a fucking hypocrite, I yelled at him. You have no right to tell me what to do No fucking right.Im not, I I didnt listen to what else he had to say. Turning, I stormed into the ladies restroom, the only place I could go to escape these men. When Id finished and gone to wash my hands, I looked up in the mirror. Did I look trashed? My cheeks were pink, some of the waves in my hair a little limper than when Id started the evening. And I was sweating. Not too trashed, I decided. I could be a lot worse.I felt hesitant to leave the restroom, fearing Doug waited for me. I didnt want to talk to him. another(prenominal) woman came in with a lit cigarette, and I bummed one off her, smoking it in its entirety while I crouched in a corner to kill time. When I heard the band kick up again, I knew it was safe.I walked out of the restroom and ran now into Roman.Are you sanction? he asked, his hands catching me around the waist to steady me. I was worried when you didnt come back.Yeah Im fine er, no, I dont know, I admitted, leaning into him, wrapping my arms around him. I dont know whats going on. I feel so strange.Its all right, he told me, patting my back. Everythings going to be all right. Do you need to leave? Is there anything I can do?I dont know I pulled away slightly, looking up into his eyes. Those blue green depths were drowning me, and suddenly, I didnt care.I dont know who started it it could have been either of us but suddenly we were kissing, there in the middle of the hallway, arms force each other tighter, lips and tongues working fur iously. The alcohol enhanced my base strong-arm response yet numbed my awareness of succubus energy absorption. It must have still been working in spite of my inability to sense it, however, because Roman shortly pulled away from me, looking aghast.Weird He put a hand to his forehead. I feel dizzy all of a sudden. He hesitated a moment then shook it off, pulling me toward him again. Just like all the others. They never caught on that it was me doing it, me hurting them, so they still came back for more.His pause had been what I needful to gain some tiny sense of lucidness in my intoxicated cloud. What had I done? What had I let myself become tonight? Every interaction with Roman had pushed me past another boundary. prime(prenominal) Id said we wouldnt date. Then Id confined us to limited dates. Tonight Id give tongue to I wouldnt drink, and now I could barely stand up from all the booze. Kissing was another taboo I had just broken. And it would only lead to the inevitableIn my minds eye, I could see us after sex. Roman would sprawl, pale and exhausted, drained of his life. That energy would crackle through me like an galvanic current, and he would stare at me, weak and confused, unable to comprehend what he no longer had. Depending on how much I stole from him, he would lose years off his life. Some sloppy succubi had even been cognise to kill victims by drinking too much life too fast.No no dont.I pushed him away, unwilling to see that future realized, but his arm still held me. spirit beyond him, I suddenly caught sight of Seth coming down the hallway. He froze when he saw us, but I was too preoccupied to pay any attention to the writer.I was a hairs breath away from kissing Roman again, from taking him somewhere anywhere where we could be alone and naked, where I could do all the things Id fantasized doing with him. another(prenominal) kiss another kiss, and I would not be able to stop. I wanted it too much. I wanted to be with someone I wanted. J ust once after all these years.And that was exactly why I couldnt do it.Georgina began Roman confusedly, hands still on me.Please, I begged, my voice a whisper, let me go. Please let me go. You have to let me go.Whats awry(p)? I dont understand.Please let me go, I repeated. Let me go The sudden volume of my own voice startled me, giving me a humbled boost of will to break from his grasp. He reached toward me, saying my name, but I stepped back. I sounded hysterical, like a crazy woman, and Roman was looking at me rightfully so. Dont touch me. Dont. Touch. MeMy anger was more at myself, at my life, than it was at him. A terrible rage and frustration, amplified by alcohol, coursed through me at the universe. The world wasnt fair. It wasnt fair that some people had perfect lives. That beautiful civilizations should fall to dust. That babies should be born with only a handful of breaths. That I should be detain in this cruel joke of an existence. An eternity of making love without lo ve.GeorginaDont touch me. Ever again. Please, I whispered hoarsely, and then, I did the only thing left to me. Escape. I ran. I turned from him and ran down the hall, away from Roman, away from Seth, away from the main seating area. I didnt know where I was going, but it would keep me safe. Would keep Roman safe. I might not be able to heal my own pain, but I could prevent any more from coming to him.My poor coordination and desperation made me run into people who responded with change degrees of politeness to my mania. Was Roman behind me? I didnt know. Hed drunk at least as much as I had his coordination couldnt be any better. If I could just be alone, I could shape-shift or go invisible and get out of hereI burst through a gate, and a wave of cool night air suddenly engulfed me. Gasping, I looked around. I stood in the back parking lot. It was packed with cars, and a few people smoking pot lingered around, most not paying attention to me. The door Id come through open, and I t urned, expecting Roman. Instead, I saw Seth, looking anxious. preserve away from me, I warned.He held up his hands, palms forward in an tranquilize gesture as he approached me slowly. Are you okay?I took two steps back, fumbling for my purse. Im fine. I just have to have to get away from here get away from him. I pulled out my cellular telephone phone, intending to call one of the vampires. It slipped from my hands, dodged my attempts to catch it, and hit the asphalt with a vile crack. Oh shit.Kneeling down, I picked up the phone, looking with dismay at the gibber on the display. Shit, I repeated.Seth knelt by me. What can I do?I looked up at him, his face swimming in my blurred vision. I have to get out of here. I have to get away from him.Okay. Come on. Ill take you home.Seth took my arm, and I had a idle recollection of being led a few blocks to some dark-colored car. He helped me inside and drove away. Leaning back, I sank into the motion of the drive, let it pull me under, the backward and forward of inertia, backward and forward, backward and forwardPullover.What?Pull over nowHe complied, and I opened the door, expelling the contents of my stomach onto the street outside. When I had finished, Seth waited a moment before asking, Are you okay to keep going?Yeah.But a few minutes later, I made him pull over and repeated the process.This car ride is killing me, I gasped once we were on the road again. I cant stay in the car. The motionSeths brow furrowed, and he suddenly made a hard right that nearly set me to throwing up inside the car. Sorry, he said.We drove a few more minutes, and I was on the verge of asking him to pull over again when the car stopped. He helped me out, and I looked around, not recognizing the building in front of us. Where are we?My place.He ushered me inside, straight to a bathroom where I promptly knelt and paid homage to the toilet, again releasing more liquid than I had realized was in me. I felt distantly aware of Seth behind me, pulling my hair out of the way. Dimly, I remembered that higher immortals like Jerome and Carter could be affected by alcohol as little or as much as they liked, choosing to sober up at will. Bastards.I dont know how long I knelt there before Seth gently helped me to my feet. Can you stand?I think so.Its uh in your hair and on your dress. I think youll want to change.I looked down at the navy georgette and sighed. Steamy.What?Never mind. I started pulling the straps down so I could get out of the dress. His eyebrows rose, and he hastily turned away.What are you doing? he asked in a forcibly normal voice.I need to shower.Naked, I stumbled over and turned on the water. Seth, still not looking at me, retreated to the door. You wont fall or anything?I hope not.I stepped into the water, gasping at its heat. I leaned against the tiled wall and just let the heavy stream power-wash me, the shock momentarily rousing my wits. Looking up, I saw that Seth was gone, the bathroom door unapp ealing. I sighed and shut down my eyes, wanting to sink to my knees and pass out. Standing there, I thought again about Roman, about how good it had felt to kiss him. I didnt know what he would think of me now, not after how Id acted.When I turned off the water and stepped out, the bathroom door opened a crack. Georgina? Use these.A towel and an oversize T-shirt were tossed through before the door closed again. I dried myself off and put on the shirt. It was red and had a picture of Black Sabbath on it. Nice.The activity took its toll, however, and a wave of illness rolled over me again. No, I moaned, making for the toilet.The door opened. Are you okay? Seth came in and pulled my hair back once more.I waited but nothing came. Finally, I stood uneasily. Im all right. I need to lie down.He led me out of the bathroom and into a bedroom with an unmade queen-sized bed. I collapsed onto it, pleased to be flat and stationary, even though the room continued to spin. He sat down gingerly on the beds edge, reflection me uncertainly.Im sorry about this, I told him. Sorry you had to do all this.Its okay.I closed my eyes. Relationships suck. This is why I dont date. You just hurt people.Most good things come with the risk of something bad, he observed philosophically.I remembered the letter hed sent me, about the long-term girlfriend hed neglected for his writing. Would you do it again? I asked. Go out with that one girl? Even if you knew things would turn out exactly the same?A pause. Yes.Not me.Not me what?I opened my eyes and looked up at him. I was married once. It was the kind of drunken admission one made fully aware that it would never have been spoken sober. Did you know that?No.No one does.It didnt work out then? Seth asked when I didnt say anything for a minute.I couldnt help a bitter laugh. Didnt work out? That was an understatement. I had been weak and foolish, giving into the same physical urges that had nearly led me into disaster with Roman. Only with Ar iston, I couldnt claim drunkenness for that slip. I had been dead sober, and honestly, I think Id been mean it for a long time anyway. We both had.Hed come over one day for another visit, only this time we didnt talk much. I think we were past conversation by then. Wed both been restless, pacing and standing, making small talk that neither of us really listened to. My attention was on his physical presence on his body and the powerful muscles in his arms and legs. The air was so thick with sexual tension it was a wonder we could move at all.I walked to the window, staring at nothing as I listened to him pacing the rest of the house. A moment later he returned, this time standing behind me. His hands suddenly rested on my shoulders, the first deliberate touch hed ever made. His fingers burned me like a brand, and I shivered, making his hold tighten as he stepped closer to me.Letha, he said in my ear, you know you know I think about you all the time. I think about what it would be l ike to be with you.Youre with me now.You know thats not what I mean.He turned me around to face him, and his gaze was like hot oil running over my body, glib and scorching. Trailing his hands up my neck, he cupped my face for a moment. He leaned down and held his mouth a breath away from mine. Then, his tongue darted out and lightly ran over my lips, the barest of caresses. My lips parted, and I leaned forward to take more, but he stepped away with a small smile. One of his hands moved down to my shoulder, to the clasp that held my gown together, and unfastened it. The fabric slid off me, pooling around me on the floor, so I stood naked before him.His eyes blazed, taking in every part. I should have felt embarrassed or shy, but I didnt. I felt wonderful. Desired. Adored. Wanted. Powerful.I would do anything, anything at all to have you right now, he whispered. His hands traveled down my shoulders to the sides of my breasts, to my waist, and then my hips. My mother had always said m y hips were too skinny, but under his hands, they felt lush and sexy. I would kill for you. I would go to the ends of the earth for you. I would do anything at all that you ask. Anything just to feel your body against mine and your legs wrapped around me.No ones ever said anything like that to me. I was surprised at how calmly my voice came out. Inside, I was melting. I would hear variations of his promises for the next millennium or so, from a hundred different men, but at the time, the words were fresh and new.Aristonslips turned up in a rueful smile. Kyriakosmust say things like that all the time. There was an arch stair to his voice, reminding me that even though the two men were longtime friends, there had always been a rivalry underscoring that friendship.No. He makes love to me with his eyes.I want to use a lot more than my eyes.In that moment, I suddenly understood the power women had over men. It was surprising and exhilarating. Never mind issues of holding and politics it was in the bedroom that women ruled. With flesh and sheets and sweat. The knowledge filled me, rushing through me with an arousal stronger than any aphrodisiac could produce. I thrived on it, proclivity this newfound clout. I think it was this revelation that would later make the powers of hell cast me as a succubus.I reached out trembling hands to him and began removing his tunic. He stood still as I undressed him, but every inch of him quivered with heat and longing. His breathing came heavy and fast as I studied his body now, noticing all the ways it was the same as Kyriakos and all the ways it was different. I moved my fingertips over him, lightly touching the tanned flesh, the well-defined muscles, the nipples. Then my hands moved lower, below his stomach, wrapping around the long, hard length they found there. Ariston emitted a soft groan but did not move toward me yet. He was still waiting for my consent.I increase my eyes from my fondling hands and looked into his face . He really would have done anything for me. That awareness increased my need for him.You can do anything you want to me, I told him finally.I made it sound like a concession, but truthfully, I wanted him to do anything he wanted. My words broke the spell that had been holding us apart. It was like a damn bursting. Like exhaling after holding your breath for too long. A rush. A sledding. My body nearly tumbled into his, like it had been straining and straining at bindings that had finally been cut. Touching him made me realize we should have been touching long before this.He jerked me into a crude kiss, jamming his tongue into my mouth as his hands moved under me to grab the backs of my thighs. In one motion, he hoisted me up and pressed my back against the wall. My legs wrapped around his hips, needing him closer to me, and then with one hard thrust, he was inside. I dont know if I was too tight or he was too big maybe both but it hurt in a sort of pleasurable way. I let out a surprised cry, but he didnt stop to see if I was okay. The passion had seized him, that animalistic urge locked deep into our blood that ensures the continuation of our species. He center only on his own pleasure now as he pushed into me, over and over, harder and harder, seeming to thrive on every moan and scream that crossed my lips. I wouldnt have thought I could find release in such rough sex, but I did more than once. all(prenominal) time, it came as a great, consuming wave of sensation, starting deep at heart me and spreading throughout my body, rubbing every nerve, covering every piece of me until I was completely saturated. Then the wave would explode into glittering fragments, loss me warm and tender and breathless. Like being shattered then remade. It was exquisite. each(prenominal) of these orgasms seemed to drive him more urgently until his own climax came. This time, I was the one thriving on his release, digging my nails into his back as tightly as I could, holdi ng on to him, bringing the episode to a shuddering, gasping end.And yet, it wasnt the end because in only a little while, he was ready again. He took me to my bed and this time put me on my knees, leaning into me from behind. Ive heard the old women say this is the best position for conceiving a child, he whispered.I had only a moment to ponder this before he was in me again, still rough and demanding. I considered his words as he pumped away, that maybe he would be the one who gave me a child after all, not Kyriakos. The realization made me feel strange, eager yet regretful.Aristonfelt no such regret when we lay back on the blankets later in the afternoon, both of us exhausted and spent as warm sun spilled in over us through the window.The lack could be in Kyriakos, he explained. Not you. With as many times as Ive had you today, you cant help but get pregnant. He sucked my earlobe and wrapped his arms around me from behind, letting his hands rest on my breasts. Ive filled you up, L etha.His voice was low and proprietary, like hed just gained something more tangible than sex. Suddenly I wondered who really did have the power in the bedroom after all.I lay against him, wondering what I had done and what I wanted to do now. How did one go back to being a wife after being someone elses goddess? I never got to decide, however, because the next thing I heard was Kyriakos avocation me from the front of the house, home too early. Ariston and I both sat up, startled. My fingers fumbled as I tried to get the blankets off me, tangling in the fabric. My dress. I needed to find my dress. But it wasnt here, I realized. Id left it in the other room. Maybe, I thought desperately, I could get to it before Kyriakos found us. Maybe I could move fast enough.But it turned out I couldnt.In the present, all I said to Seth was Yeah. It didnt work out. Not at all. I cheated on him.Oh. A pause. Why?Because I could. It was stupid.Thats why you dont date?Everything about that hurt too m uch. No good justified the bad.You cant know that the next one will turn out badly. Things change.Not for me. I closed my eyes to hide the tears welling up. Im going to pass out now.Okay.He might have left or he might have stayed I didnt know. I simply slept, lost in black, dull sleep.